Ya know, I wouldn’t say things have been hard for me lately, like the past few months but it’s been mentally challenging to say the least. Like, my life isn’t bad!!! I live a dream bro. I wake up everyday to do what I love. I run a business and I body-build for a living. It’s been amazing. I can do what I want. When I want. How I want. I wouldn’t ask for nothing better…..or would I?
In the midst of living this life and building my body to be a competitor and running this business, you get very in tuned with your day to day operations. You have to figure out a schedule that works best for you amongst the other 1,000 things to worry about when running a business. All that to talk about a conversation I had with Nicole last night.
My sewing machine has been broken for a while and I finally ordered the part which will be here on the 8th. It would work sometimes but take me sooo long to finish a piece because my bobbin holder is broken. So last night, I felt it broke for good until Monday and I can’t wait that long because I have orders I have to fill. Somehow I went into this little depression because I was already feeling down and BOOM, another nail in the coffin. So I came out the room and she was on the couch and I rolled me up on and went by the patio door and I was like “I don’t know how long I can take it anymore. It’s been a tough past couple of months. I’m behind on a few orders, I’m not getting as many orders as I feel my skill matches to, and my machine is broken and I can’t do shit about it.” She went on to tell me it’s gonna be okay and she’s here for me and we’ll ride it out together. I puffed a few more times and went silent.
During that time I thought to myself and told her “It’s not like I’m getting NO ORDERS AT ALL. I’m getting hella orders and I’m always busy but I’m here acting like I don’t get shit and no one sees me” as she shook her head hard as hell in the “yep” motion. I went on to tell her how I should try to shift my thinking and be more grateful for the orders I DO receive.
I’m doing well but the feeling for MORE is forever present and in that notion, we lose the sense of gratefulness. We overlook all the blessings we have to beg for the shit we don’t have. Why do I feel bad? Because I don’t have 500 grand in my bank account? Why do I feel bad? Because I don’t get 30 orders a day? Because I don’t have 40 employees and this huge ass business and my business holding business of the year titles and shit? That’s why I’m down? Sometimes I have to step to myself and call bullshit on MYSELF!! Because that’s bullshit.
I’m blessed. I have a profiting business I operate from home. Im a full time bodybuilder…I have all of my needs. I have 2 dogs, a beautiful woman, and I come to a loving home every single day. I have friends and people I know who loves me and I love them. I have my mom still here who i can call and get laughs from….and most of all, I have time!!!!! Like why am I trippin? I know the outcome if i just keep going but some nights the phrase WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN plays loudly in my head. Sometimes overshadowing the blessings that are dead in front of me.
To sum it up, I went to HEB after that talk and got some superglue, glued that screw back in place and it seemed to do the job for now. I sewed Tanner’s beautiful Houndstooth Originals right after and somehow I had a little hope again. I turned the machines off, hit the lights and went to bed.
Today is a new day. I don’t know what awaits me on today but I’m ready and one things for sure, IM BLESSED! And I’ll try to always remember that. Even during those nights where patience runs thin. When everything feels like it’s crashing down around me. Something that was so beautiful. Clothing everyone once loved. I hope I still have that impact. I hope my CLOTHING still has that impact and to all of you who come back and back again and again (Tanner, Syd, Herman), I love you guys and thank you for always supporting me. Thank you for taking a chance on me and understanding the ins and outs of this business. 🙏🏾❤️
I don’t mind sharing my weak moments. Because I won’t put on a “happy” front for anyone. Social media seems famous for that. I’m not that guy. I know I’ll be the man in the end so just understand that it’s no cake walk. It’s tough. Especially when you got people depending on you for mere survival. I pray you always continue as so will I.
Let’s keep going.
Trevor Goodie